Stay at home moms vs working moms

Yes, I'm a stay at home mom. Yes, I like being a stay at home mom. There is just so much judgement on both sides of this topic.

One side says; why would you take your husband's last name?! Your giving up your individuality. That you are no more than a slave. You need to get out from the shackles of oppressive/subservient sexism. Every women should have a career. Why are you even thinking of getting married?! Seesh!

Then the other side; if you go to work, just who is going to raise your children? You're not really a mother or a wife if you go to work. I'm better then you because I can stay home with my children. You're selfish if you want a career and "you set your family aside".

I say - to each their own. If you want to work, great. If you want to stay home, great. For me, I love staying home with my boys. Teaching them new things everyday. I tried the working and daycare thing. Didn't like it. Wasn't for us. We don't need me to work right now so I have decided to stay at home. Not only do I like taking care of my kids but I like "taking care of my husband". I like making dinner, doing laundry and cleaning the house. I love organizing and being crafty. There is not a job I would rather be doing. Maybe later I will go back to school and finish my education but for now I want to educate my children.

Also, I have nothing against single mothers or fathers. I am impressed that they do it all on their own. I don't know what I would do if I had to take care of these two boys alone. They sacrifice so much and should be praised for that. 'Good on ya' I say!

I would just like to share this awesome website my father sent me.
What a stay at home mom is worth...

Yummy yummy Teriyaki Chicken Shish Kabobs

These are some yummy shish kabobs that I make. Mine are gluten free because I get a GF teriyaki sauce from Whole Foods. We have them with rice but you can eat them my themselves if you wish. They are very easy to make and don't cost that much. I would budget $10-$15 for this meal. I always have chicken in the freezer and rice in the cabinet so I normally just have to grab the fresh veggies and pineapple. 

Ingredients:

1 lb Chicken

1 Bottle of Teriyaki Sauce

4 Medium size peppers of any color

1 Fresh pineapple 

1 Red onion

Other Items: 

Shish Kabobs skewers 

Cutting board

Knife

2 Containers

Foil

Cookie sheet  

1st Step: 

Before hand (about an hour or two) cut 1 lb of chickin into small 1 inch pieces. You don't want them to very is size due to cooking time for smaller or larger pieces. Place chicken pieces into the container.  

Step 2:

Pour some of the tariyaki sauce over the chicken just enough. I never measure it, I just kinda eyeball it. 

Step 3:

Cut peppers, pineapple and the onion into large piece, about the same size as the chicken. Place into the other container. Remember to cut your pineapple in to LARGE pieces. It is much easier to skewer them if they are large. (I forgot to document that part, sorry.)

Step 4:

When the chicken is done marinating construct your kabobs. I put two or three pieces of chicken on each one. 

Place on to a foil covered cookie sheet and put in a 375* oven for 20-30 minutes. (I always keep an eye on them checking every so often.) Turn them once or twice.

Step 5:

Check the chicken to see if they are fully cooked. I like to take mine off of the skewer and eat them with rice. 

Grocery Shopping

My recently married sister posted on facebook the other day that she was having a hard time doing a menu and shopping list. This type of chore is one of my favorites! I love making lists and I love love love using excel (or in my case Openoffice spreadsheets.) Its organization to the max! Here's what mine looks like. Its like a living thing, its constantly changing and growing.

This is my menu sheet. I just plan dinners for now because the boys eat the same thing every day. I have our pay days in gray so I know just how long to plan. Yellow is a day where we will not be home for dinner so no planning is needed. I do this page first. Decided what I have in the cabinets and what I can make out of it. Next I pick things that I want to eat and gather the recipes.

Menus

This screenprint is of the list of commonly purchased items. That way when I make a new list I can refer to this is list. I sort it alphabetically for easy navigating.  I take the ingredients that I need to purchase and add them to the next screen.

Commonly purchased items 

This is my actual shopping list. I budget for each item so I know how much I'm going to need to shop. When I get home I use my receipt and plug in the actual prices for each item. I just recently added a column for overages and savings. I also added coupons down at the bottom. I don't often use coupons and this was the first time I had some that took an amount of the total price at the end. I just added them at the bottom and but in their amount as -$2.00. 

List

Renaissance Fair

This weekend we went to the Kansas City Ren Fair! My nerdy husband and his equally as nerdy friends have been talking about it for weeks now. Here is a snippet from my husband's email.

"Thought I'd try to organize a renfest weekend if anyone's interested in going. I'd really be open to any weekend, but I've listed several with tasty or interesting sounding events." 

And he did, his email then continued with the days activities in a nice bullet point list. We went last year, when I was pregnant and about as big as a house. Walking on two swollen legs and feet. It was awful. Particularly because I had no desire to show the world my sexy sexy cankles. It was hot, I was in pants, and 7 months preggo with twins. Not my brightest ideas when I suggested to go last year. We also went by our selves last year so we missed the witty repartee that comes with any afternoon with the guys.

*On that note I would just like to say how much I love the show "The Big Bang Theory". I watch that show to hear/see the same jokes, conversations and social awkwardness that is ever present in my everyday life.*
Anyways, I just love the Renfair and the people there. As you walk around you see people from every walk of life. Nerds, the rich, "normal", hipsters, punks, ect. There are people dressed up in Renfair get-ups. But there are also people dressed in random costumes. The best part is that these people are there to have fun. They come dressed to impress, not caring if they look ridiculous. I also feel like most people there aren't judging them. This is a place where they feel safe. Where they can be themselves. I say, go for it!!!
So, the boys loved it. They where so good, not crying and screaming until the end (nearly 5 hours at the fair). They napped, ate, and drank like all good babies. Maybe next year well have even more fun!

The boys watching a belly dancing show.

Going Out and About

Twins in public:

When I was pregnant with my twins I was warned repeatedly that taking my babies out in public was going to be crazy. I tried to prepare myself as much as I could but it was definitely not enough. When we go out I call our gang the “Ramsey Freak Show”. Come one, come all! See the amazing Ramsey Twins! Two identical human beings, same eyes, same nose, same smile! You'll think you're seeing double!!! (Please, no touching, no pointing, no pictures and ABSOLUTELY NO FEEDING THE BABIES!) There is just something about walking around and seeing people point, whisper and stare at you.  

When I commiserate with my cousin, who also had twins (they are now 18 yrs old) we always have the same stories. I should have been keeping count of how many times I've heard, “Are they twins?!”, “Oh wow! You must have your hands full!”, but my favorit comments are ones like; “Are they identical?...Are you sure?” and when I explain that yes, I am sure, that they had syndrome that only occurs in identical twins they go on to say, “Well, I would make sure.” Or, even better, the “Oh, I sorta had twins. I have two that are 9 months apart!” Bitch please! That nothing like twins. Sorry. Did your belly grow to the size of 4 watermelons? Nope, it didn't. Not twins! Did you have to feed two babies at 2:00am every night for 3-4 months? Nope. How about two babies getting their first teeth at the same time? Nope, again, not twins! When I hear these questions I just finish the conversation, walk away and laugh.

Grocery Shopping:

It always takes twice as long as it would normally take to grocery shop. Not because of the twins are giving me hell, but more so from the constant questions. Everyone wants to talk to you, to see your babies and unfortunately they want to touch them. I don't know if its because they don't believe that twins could be real or maybe they have a baby touching fetish (Gross!). And I always notice that the parents of singlets (that's parents that had just one baby at a time) are always the ones that try to stop me and ask me every question in the world. The parents of twins most often will say in passing, “Twins? Good luck!” or “I have twins, it gets better.” (which I know is a lie!). These parents know just how much I would love to make it in and out of the grocery store quickly and quietly. And to them, I say thank you!

Timmo and Ollio being good little boys.

To the other people, who I know are just curious, I am flattered by you comments (the nice, sweet ones) and they are appreciated. However, if you could just say them in passing, or while we are standing in line for check-out that would be super! Just think about how many times a day, an hour(!) that I have heard the same questions. I know people are just curious but if I'm struggeling to keep my twins claim and am on the verge of tears I'm not up for a "quick" chat.   

I find the easiest ways to avoid these questions are to;

A) Talk on the phone. Find any excuse to call someone on the phone. Chat with them while you are shopping. Not too many people are that rude to interrupt you while you are on the phone.

B) Walk like you have blinders on. Don't make eye contact! No matter what they do to suddenly try and get your attention DO NOT LOOK AT THEM!!! It will be all over. You'll be stuck there talking to Ms. Nosey Rosey for the next 5 years.

C) If you get caught and someone starts asking you questions, lie. Tell them you are baby sitting, or that you were impregnated by two different aliens, Zalogoo and Blertron. A gay alien couple that have wanted a child for years. You are their surrogate and as payment you get to keep your freedom and not be enslaved in the up coming alien invasion. Say all this with a smile of course. 

Laundry Woos!

As you can imagine I have TONS of laundry to do every other day of so. I'm sure I'm like most people and dread doing laundry. The sorting, the washing, the drying, the hanging, THE FOLDING, and the putting away. Arg! I have some tricks to help it seem less of a daunting task.

First, I have schedule laundry days. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are for washing baby clothes. That's most often one load of laundry on those days because I do it so routinely. Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are mommy-daddy laundry days. Before I made a schedule there were days that I was getting stuck with HOURS of laundry. I find it much easier to do 2 hours of laundry then 10 hours.

Second,  I have made a very handy dandy T-Shirt folder for mine and my hubby's clothes. It was pretty easy to make and really easy to use. What I like most about it is that all the shirts come out the same size and that leaves more room in the drawers. Here's where I found how to make the T-Shirt Folder.

I made mine out of a bulk diaper box.

Folded T-Shirt.

Third, I like to keep the clothes well organized and have specific drawers, baskets, and shelves (even hangers) for different types of clothes. The boys' dresser has four drawers, in order from top to bottom, pajamas, suits and daytime onesies, shirts (with short sleeve in the front and long sleeve in the back due to weather), and finally shorts and pants. Any hanging clothes, which aren't much, go in the closet.

My dresser is the same order (sans suits and onesies!) while hubby's goes socks and underwear, T-Shirts, more T-Shirts, sweaters, and jeans. He was not as picky as I am about how clothes are folded and put away so I've been slowly converting him over to my side. I do his laundry now that he's gone back to work so its I do it my way or he has to do it himself. You can guess what he picks.

For my closet and dress clothes, I use a velvet hanger because I have lots of items that fall off the hanger easily I hang them in type groups; pants, dresses, skirts, sleeveless tops,blouses, and cardigans. Sometimes I color code, sometimes I'm too lazy (or tired).

These things have helped me get through my laundry woos. Happy laundering!!!~!

Angry Mothers...

I have been a frequenter of certain baby related internet sites ever sense the birth of my boys. However, I think I am going to deactivate my account or at least stop checking in so often. The nasty judgmental attitudes of these women gets on my nerves. For example:

“Why aren't you wearing your baby?! I know that it would fix all your problems.”

“I would never let MY baby cry it out! You're a horrible mother if you do!”

“You said such and such so that must make it true and I'm not going to believe that you could have made a typo or in the heat of the moment not explained yourself very clearly. I will go about my misunderstanding ways and judge you on the inaccurate data that you admitted was not correct. I will ignore the data that you have now given as clarification to what your actual meaning was. So, basically, you are an awful person. P.S. I hope you die in a fire.”

Really ladies? Get a life! I'm sure these rude women would be irritated and hurt if (or when) people talk to them in the same manor. The mothers that are asking for help with their problems are looking for understanding, suggestions and support. But all you can offer them is judgmental criticism. Your words are hurtful and wrong and I always feel so badly for the mothers that are reaching out for help and get blasted with these kinds of comments. 

My favorite is when they end with “but, that's just my opinion”. You just called this women Satan’s bride but by saying “in my opinion” ii is suppose to make it all better?! I don't think so. Get over yourselves ladies. To each their own. We are talking about personal preference of parenting styles. That's “personal” as in: Of or relating to a particular person; private. And “preference” meaning: A greater liking for one alternative over another or others. You could be a little nicer, maybe instead of, “Your own words were that she was about to throw up. That is just wrong.” maybe you could say, “I was confused, your post made it would like she was going to be sick and worried. I was concerned. Thank you for clarifying your meaning. This is what I do in that situation...”. No mother is perfect and if you're a mom that thinks she is, get...a...LIFE!!! I have NO problem with anyone wanting to wear their baby(ies) all the time. Or if they don't like to let them cry it out. Fine, whatever. I'm also not saying that I don't or haven't warn my babies and that I let them cry it out all the time. All I'm saying is that there is always going to be someone that thinks they are doing it better then you and that you, in turn, are an awful parent. Arg, its just so frustrating. To the judgment Mothers I say, again, get a life, get over it and worry about yourself. To the other mother, just looking for support, check out a site before you post something. If the other post have negative comments, look somewhere else. Or, give as good as you get!