Going Out and About

Twins in public:

When I was pregnant with my twins I was warned repeatedly that taking my babies out in public was going to be crazy. I tried to prepare myself as much as I could but it was definitely not enough. When we go out I call our gang the “Ramsey Freak Show”. Come one, come all! See the amazing Ramsey Twins! Two identical human beings, same eyes, same nose, same smile! You'll think you're seeing double!!! (Please, no touching, no pointing, no pictures and ABSOLUTELY NO FEEDING THE BABIES!) There is just something about walking around and seeing people point, whisper and stare at you.  

When I commiserate with my cousin, who also had twins (they are now 18 yrs old) we always have the same stories. I should have been keeping count of how many times I've heard, “Are they twins?!”, “Oh wow! You must have your hands full!”, but my favorit comments are ones like; “Are they identical?...Are you sure?” and when I explain that yes, I am sure, that they had syndrome that only occurs in identical twins they go on to say, “Well, I would make sure.” Or, even better, the “Oh, I sorta had twins. I have two that are 9 months apart!” Bitch please! That nothing like twins. Sorry. Did your belly grow to the size of 4 watermelons? Nope, it didn't. Not twins! Did you have to feed two babies at 2:00am every night for 3-4 months? Nope. How about two babies getting their first teeth at the same time? Nope, again, not twins! When I hear these questions I just finish the conversation, walk away and laugh.

Grocery Shopping:

It always takes twice as long as it would normally take to grocery shop. Not because of the twins are giving me hell, but more so from the constant questions. Everyone wants to talk to you, to see your babies and unfortunately they want to touch them. I don't know if its because they don't believe that twins could be real or maybe they have a baby touching fetish (Gross!). And I always notice that the parents of singlets (that's parents that had just one baby at a time) are always the ones that try to stop me and ask me every question in the world. The parents of twins most often will say in passing, “Twins? Good luck!” or “I have twins, it gets better.” (which I know is a lie!). These parents know just how much I would love to make it in and out of the grocery store quickly and quietly. And to them, I say thank you!

Timmo and Ollio being good little boys.

To the other people, who I know are just curious, I am flattered by you comments (the nice, sweet ones) and they are appreciated. However, if you could just say them in passing, or while we are standing in line for check-out that would be super! Just think about how many times a day, an hour(!) that I have heard the same questions. I know people are just curious but if I'm struggeling to keep my twins claim and am on the verge of tears I'm not up for a "quick" chat.   

I find the easiest ways to avoid these questions are to;

A) Talk on the phone. Find any excuse to call someone on the phone. Chat with them while you are shopping. Not too many people are that rude to interrupt you while you are on the phone.

B) Walk like you have blinders on. Don't make eye contact! No matter what they do to suddenly try and get your attention DO NOT LOOK AT THEM!!! It will be all over. You'll be stuck there talking to Ms. Nosey Rosey for the next 5 years.

C) If you get caught and someone starts asking you questions, lie. Tell them you are baby sitting, or that you were impregnated by two different aliens, Zalogoo and Blertron. A gay alien couple that have wanted a child for years. You are their surrogate and as payment you get to keep your freedom and not be enslaved in the up coming alien invasion. Say all this with a smile of course.